Garlic and other things that eke out of you!

At a recent job interview I was asked to share the three most important things in my life and why. The interviewer pre-empted the conversation by clarifying there were no wrong answers. It was a means of getting to know me and what matters to me.

My responses came quickly to mind. The first two made sense immediately but the third was an interesting self-revelation.

The why for each took more time to consider as life experiences, changing contexts and time have both shaped and deepened my understanding of what is important to me.

Curiosity aroused. I genuinely want to hear how others answer this question. What is most important? Why?

And take the next personal growth step: What would those who know me well, say is most important to me?

That’s a ‘mirror’ question, a vulnerable moment of checking whether what I say, and how I live, are congruent.  Do I really live out of what I say is important to me, or does my everyday life, decisions and activities show something very different?

It’s like when you are on a peak hour crowded train squished next to a person who has recently consumed a garlic infused meal. It’s eking out of them if you know what I mean.  What’s really important to us is obvious to everyone around us even though we may well be oblivious.

“The things that matter stay with you, seep into your skin”
― Christina Baker Kline, Orphan Train

Over the next few weeks of blogging, I’ll unpack what is important to me and why. I won’t mention them now, as I do not want to distract from the impact of the question on you.

Your response is the one that matters and as the interviewer at my job interview said, there are no wrong answers.

I look forward to hearing your responses, to hear if you have gone the next step and asked the ‘mirror’ question too.

“I made a promise never to let myself be deceived again. I would live for the important things in life.”
― Ivy Oakes, The Story of How We Met

Can’t say no?

Can’t say No!

Couldn’t if I tried

An alarm goes off

And I shrivel up inside

Lungs heat up

And the mind seizes

Heart skips a beat

And my belly freezes

Well worn words

Spill out to betray

“Oh, fine, alright

That’s OK!”

Self loathing foul

Creeps in to taunt

An old foe within

His familiar haunt

Messages so wrong

I always please

Saying yes to all

Isn’t fear a tease?

Am I enough?

Oh, worthless game!

Eyes ever betray

The dance of shame

Wise words said

To self be true

Yet always within

So hard to do

Dianne Priest © June 2006

You are not alone. Here at C-Change we enjoy partnering with people who want to see what life is like on the other side of anxiety, people-pleasing, boundary and self-worth issues.

A good friend once said, “We train people how to treat us.”

I’ve never forgotten those wise words.