What does ‘me time’ look like?

I remember some years ago taking time out for a weekend away by myself. Away from my normal routine of washing, house cleaning, attending sporting events for our three active sons and all the other fun activities that crowd out a weekend before Monday returns with a dull thud.
Ah, a wonderful weekend of peace and quiet in a friend’s shack, all made possible after much planning, negotiating, list leaving and reminding myself, it’s not all up to me.
My first hurdle was at the supermarket on the way to my ‘retreat’. I walked up and down the aisles aware of a struggle to know what to buy for myself. I was so sure of what everyone else in the household liked but I had no clues as to what ‘treats’ or ‘staples’ I wanted for myself.
It was one of those funny moments of awareness that just maybe, I really needed this quiet weekend away, if nothing else just to remind myself of what I want to eat when I’m not focused on feeding the hungry hordes and their mates.
“Me time has gone out the door and I’m not sure when or how to get it back,” said a friend recently who was juggling working from home, supervising her children’s schooling and trying to get through a list of home projects because it seemed like a great idea at the time.
Would love to hear your answers to these questions as we consider more ways to bring healthy change to our lives.

  • What is ‘me time’ for you?
  • How do you re-charge the batteries?
  • How do you create those small but essential spaces in a day, week and/or month to re-acquaint yourself with your own needs, wants, feelings, interests and just cause moments?

And I must add that ‘me time’ does not mean just sleeping, pleasant as though that may be for some who are weary from the daily duties of life, and then some.

And my final question:

  • When was the last time you had some serious, high quality, replenishing, ‘me time’?(Photo of Paisley – Pipe Clay Lagoon 2020)

Numbing or Nurturing – Habits for Change

I’ve begun to notice during this time of ‘glorious isolation’, my tendency to choose numbing strategies to cope with the lingering anxiety that lurks just under the surface of my ‘she’ll be right when I can see the light at the end of this tunnel’ demeanour.

Now there is nothing wrong with watching a re-run of Friends while nibbling on chocolate and downing a glass of smooth red. You’ll certainly not be judged by me on that one or similar options.

My lazy brain just loves to, take the soft option, ease my load (perceived of course) and excuse the need to slow the already slow pace.

Yep, here comes the but!

But I’ve begun to note that ‘numbing’ strategies while offering short term reprieve can become longer term bad habits with consequences I genuinely don’t want. That causes concern as I begin to normalise and justify the ‘need’ to numb down to cope with this season.

What I lose, is well-being, satisfaction, confidence and so much more.

Lately, in response to this pattern I’ve begun to remember some activities that tend to ‘nurture’ rather than ‘numb’ in this season.

For me, walking, reading (OK, wine may be involved) photography, writing, gardening, feeding the chooks and digging for worms with them, actually nourishes me. I don’t feel quite so defeated. I’ve begun to remember what I really enjoy doing, what gives me joy, purpose and meaning.

Building ‘nurturing’ activities into my day (because I’m worth it) engages my brain and gives me a stronger sense of value.

Before you ‘return to normal’ whatever that may be, my question to you is:

Have you noticed what ‘numbs’ and/or ‘nurtures’ you and what will you take forward into the new season just around the corner? Remember – you are worth it.

Questions for Change

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy

Learning to Hold the Questions

Some time ago I had the privilege of attending an Educators Conference

facilitated by a well-known Australian psychologist, Andrew Fuller.

He had a profoundly spiritual effect when he posed the following questions to the audience:

  • When did you stop singing?
  • When did you stop dancing?
  • When did you stop listening to and telling stories?
  • When did you become disenchanted with the sacred place of silence?

The auditorium was silent for many minutes, considering the questions that he posed to modern 21st Century humanity. There was a hushed reverence as the powerful truths contained in the simple questions filtered through our minds.

We had to acknowledge the reality that we had changed. Unwittingly, subtly and insidiously, external forces and internal needs had conspired to change us without our permission or awareness and we had unknowingly lost something very precious in that process.

A step toward courage:

Notice how the questions challenge you to acknowledge that change has already occurred.

What are you going to do with your capacity to change?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Free initial consult – no obligation

C-Change began out of a belief that people, including myself, can change and can choose to live life well. A belief that we can learn to respond to contexts, circumstances and challenges in more helpful ways.

  • We go to a personal trainer to change our shape, fitness and health.
  • We go to a plastic surgeon to change our appearance.
  • We sign up for courses to acquire new information, learn new skills and position ourselves for new career opportunities.

The very existence of self-help books, counsellors, life coaches, spiritual directors and psychologists gives some clear indication that for the most part we do believe that with the right help we can change.

Change is all around us. Change is something we are doing whether we are aware or not.

C-Change is about helping you notice the changes, respond in helpful and skilful ways to your life challenges /opportunities and provide you with courage, confidence and compassion to continue your life journey well.

Our current unexpected worldwide circumstances are impacting every area of life for us all. A tiny organism is affecting us far beyond the immediate health concerns. 

The ramifications are already being felt in every aspect of life.

You are not alone and yes you are able to change, to respond and pivot in this season with help.

Contact C-Change on the form below for a free first consult to determine how I can help you through this challenging season and prepare for all that is ahead.

Letting Go

This is a self-paced reflective retreat. It involves five simple reflections and can be done in a day or over time.

Please click here to download a pdf copy of the retreat for you to use and share.

Courage to Connect

Self-isolation has provided some gold moments and some cabin fever moments, but the beauty in each day has become clearer. I’m enjoying the rhythm of connection with solitude, just as in music the melody is shaped and enhanced by the ‘rests’, the pauses that define the flow.

Connection is so precious in these strange days that I’m observing among our family and friends a gentle and growing openness to express and explore their genuine care, appreciation, needs and hopes. This deepening of conversation opens the door to more meaningful connection for those who are courageously taking the risk.

Let’s face it there’s no sport to speak of, no concerts, no outings to keep us on the lighter end of connection. Instead, with growing trust and respect there is a genuine desire to support each other, listen to each other and express through the limited means of technology our greatest human desire, to give and receive love.

My hope is that on the other side of ‘The Rona’ when life resumes its more ‘normal’ pace we hold some of the beauty of this season of solitude and deeper connection. Yes, we’ll need to resume our banter about daily life events and experiences as a very important part of human ‘doing’ that bring vital light and shade to interactions.

But here in this time of human ‘being’ how can we continue to treasure the newly found gift of really hearing, seeing and knowing each other?

Let me know what you’ve treasured during this time, and how you are going to hold it!